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Fly While You Still Have Wings: And Other Lessons My Resilient Mother Taught Me, by Joyce Rupp
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Winner of a Catholic Press Association Award: Soft cover-spirituality books. (Third Place).
For thirty years, beginning with Fresh Bread in 1985, Joyce Rupp has comforted millions with books such as Praying Our Goodbyes and May I Walk You Home. For the first time, she shares the story of her own grief in the wake of her mother's death, offering readers both a profile of her mother's resilient spirit and a voice of compassion for their own experience of loss.
In this heartfelt memoir about her mother Hilda's final years, Joyce Rupp shares the lessons her mother taught her, especially to "fly while you still have wings." As a poor farmer's wife and the mother of eight living on rented land in Maryhill, Iowa, Hilda lived a life of hard labor and constant responsibility--from milking cows and raising chickens to keeping the farm's financial ledger. Rupp shows how the difficulties of her mother's early years and family life, including the loss of a twenty-three-year-old son, forged a resilience that guided her through the illnesses and losses she faced in later years. This affectionate profile of their relationship is, at the same time, an honest self-examination, as Rupp shares the ways she sometimes failed to listen to, accept, and understand her mother in her final years.
Rupp begins each chapter with a meditative poem that captures the essence of each stage in the journey. Her unfailing candor and profound faith illumine this story of a mother and daughter with a universal spirit of hope, reconciliation, and peace.
- Sales Rank: #63137 in Books
- Published on: 2015-02-23
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .70" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
Review
"Every page of Joyce Rupp's beautiful book is filled with practical wisdom. By meditating on the rich life of her own mother, Rupp not only shares with us timeless and life-changing lessons, but also reminds us that holiness always makes its home in humanity, and that saints are everywhere. I loved this book!" --James Martin, S.J., Author of Jesus: A Pilgrimage
"Joyce Rupp's memoir of her mother Hilda is beautiful, honest, and graced with astonishing insights into what it means to be a daughter, a mother, a human being. Her account of how this resilient woman raised eight children on an Iowa farm at first reminded me of Tim Russert's loving memoir of his father--the stories are that good. But when I got to Joyce's tender journey with her mother through the process of dying I could not help but think of C. S. Lewis's A Grief Observed--the book is that good. When I finished reading, I put the book down and could think of nothing other than what I had just read. Fly While You Still Have Wings is Joyce Rupp's best book ever, a total original, and I would not be surprised if it became a classic." --Michael Leach, Publisher Emeritus, Orbis Books
"This beautiful memoir of her mother displays the remarkable gifts that have earned Joyce Rupp so many loyal readers: engaging storytelling, moving poetry, personal experiences shared with honesty and insight, and depictions of grace breaking into the most ordinary human events. In Joyce's deft telling, her mother's story becomes not only the inspiring portrait of a strong woman, but also a primer on the mother-daughter relationship and the meaning of love and limits, suffering and courage, grief and healing. Her book's most important contribution may be the wisdom she offers on how to meet the challenges and discover the blessings of giving and receiving care in life's later years." --Kathleen Fischer, Author of Winter Grace: Spirituality and Aging
"Joyce Rupp's best book yet. How many of us would like to pay tribute to our mothers by acknowledging the lessons learned from them that still guide us, and reflect on what we wished we had done in her later years and failed to do, or what we did do and wished we had not? Joyce does this beautifully and becomes our teacher in this honest memoir." --Trish Herbert, Author of Journeywell: A Guide to Quality Aging
About the Author
Joyce Rupp is well-known for her work as a writer, spiritual midwife, international retreat leader, and conference speaker. She is the author of numerous bestselling books, including Praying Our Goodbyes, Open the Door, and Fragments of Your Ancient Name. Rupp is a member of the Servite (Servants of Mary) community and the codirector of the Institute of Compassionate Presence. She resides in Des Moines, Iowa.
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Grace for us who walk with our mothers...
By Debbie
This book (the newest from Joyce Rupp) could not have come at a better time. Full of love, compassion and grace...and regrets. Yes regrets. It's refreshing to hear that even Joyce Rupp has regrets when it comes to what she might have done differently while her mother was in decline. I began reading this book at 3:00 a.m., when doubts about how I am accompanying my own mom on this walk through end of life, were keeping me from yet another night of sleep. I finished the book, 3 hours later, thanking God that Joyce's book could be my companion while navigating this walk. This is a book to be read by anyone who has doubts... It will offer you comfort knowing that what you're feeling is Spirit lead. Grace abounds.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful Book for Those Caring For Elderly
By Patrice Fagnant-macarthur
Sr. Joyce Rupp, a member of the Servants of Mary, is well-known for her spiritual writings as well as for her work as a retreat director and conference speaker. In her latest offering, “Fly While You Still Have Wings,” she focuses on her mother, both the example of her life and the impact her declining years and death left on Sr. Joyce. She wrote this book hoping to help “others, both those entering their later years and those who are accompanying or care for them.”
Hilda Wilberding Rupp lived from March 24, 1916 until April 20, 2000. She grew up during the depression, and after her own mother died in childbirth, she became a surrogate mother to her ten siblings. She married Lester Rupp in 1937 and then devoted herself to raising her own family. She was a kind, generous woman remembered as a “Queen of Hospitality.” Rupp paints a flattering, but honest portrait of her mother. Like most of us, she had many good qualities, and also her faults. She also portrays her own shortcomings, acknowledging that she wishes that she could have her aging mother back, “so I could be kinder and more understanding.”Yet, in time, she has come to grips with her regret and learned from it.
In watching her mother’s slow decline as she aged, Rupp learned much about the aging process and how to relate and be kind to those who are aging, as well as some lessons on how to accept her own aging with grace and dignity. Rupp has much wisdom to offer to those who face the difficult challenge of caring for someone who is in the last years of life. And while none of us truly know how we will react to our own aging process until we get there, Rupp’s mother offers a positive example of how to accept those inevitable changes and, if we need it, accept the care of others.
“Fly While You Have Wings” is a tale of a particular mother and daughter navigating the elder years together, but it will resonate with many who walk similar journeys. A Reader’s Guide featuring reflection questions is also included for use by individuals or book groups.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Disappointing
By AvidReader
This got rave reviews -- and I have no doubt that it would be helpful to those caring for elderly loved ones. But I felt like a voyeur reading it and was sad and embarrassed for her mother. It also left me very depressed about the inevitable declines of "elderhood." I usually love Joyce Rupp -- and I finished even this book -- but I didn't like it and would recommend it only to those currently struggling to care for an older person. Sadly, I found it depressing, not uplifting.
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